When did being single become a sin in the dating and married pool? The way single women are treated—by those who are in committed relationships—has become something that makes the single girls want to repent for having the single lifestyle.
Ever talk about being single to a friend or relative, and then suddenly, you’re bombarded with all these unwelcomed statements of what you should and shouldn’t do? Have you ever made a simple comment that was taken way out of context—like galaxies out of context—and mistaken for being desperately single? Yup, we’ve all been there and it’s uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable.
How many of us had to hear our friends and relatives talk about their dating lives, wedding planning and how their husbands do the sweetest things for them? We’ve heard a whole earful, and never once put anyone down for it or shut anyone off with an uncalled statement. Instead, we’ve listened while inwardly shrinking inside after hearing the same love story for the ninth time in a row.
So, why is it so wrong for single ladies to talk about the single life? Every time we mention something about not having someone, we are instantly shut down with these 12 most cringe worthy phrases:
1. The right one will come
The right what will come? Are we talking about the right shade of foundation that actually matches our skin tone? Oh wait, I forgot we’re talking about men. I was almost excited for a moment.
2. You just haven’t found the right one yet
Here we go with the “one” again. Thank you Captain Obvious for pointing out that little detail because we had no idea why we are still single.
3. You don’t need a man
And you don’t need that new Michael Kors bag or second helping of Chick-Fil-A fries, but here you are. I find it ironic the same people who say this are usually the ones in a relationship or married. No one needs anyone, but we can’t help that finding a partner is actually engineered in us. But that certainly doesn’t mean a man completes us. We know we don’t need a man to get through life, but life is more fun and a little easier when there is one.
4. Enjoy being single
When you’ve been single for 24-30 years of your life, things start to get kind of boring. Sure there’s many things you can do when you’re single that you can’t technically do when you’re dating or married, but we want to move forward in our lives too.
5. It’s God’s plan for you right now
This is the most common phrase used in the Christian community. We can’t argue with this one too much because God has a plan for us, and I’m sure he’s preparing the right guy at the right time, but that doesn’t mean we want to be constantly reminded of it.
6. You don’t need a guy to complete you
Just because you want to be in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re incomplete looking to be completed by a man. We all know relationships aren’t created by meshing two broken people together to create a whole. A relationship is created when two completed people come together and chase after the same goals. Wanting to be with someone shouldn’t mean you’re broken looking to be fixed.
7. You’re so pretty and funny, how are you still single?
Anyone else feel that slap in the face? We know we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and we also know we are still single. So why do you have to remind us our awesomeness isn’t cutting it for some?
8. Stop worrying about it
Worrying about being alone forever with a condo full of cats? Never. The truth is: we shouldn’t have to worry about being single or never finding a spouse. But don’t confuse venting about the single life for having a legitimate fear of being alone.
9. It will happen when you least expect it
I think a lot of us can attest to focusing on the things we have to do and not on a relationship. We aren’t sitting around with binoculars waiting for someone to come riding on a white horse and carry us into the sunset. As much as it’s a nice thought to be with someone, it doesn’t cloud our 20/20 vision. We know it will happen when it happens.
10. Stop being picky
Above everything else, this is the worst phrase we hear. Just because we value ourselves and want the same values in a lifelong, significant other doesn’t mean we are picky. It means we aren’t going to lower our standards to raise someone else’s. It means we aren’t going to settle for less.
11. There’s plenty of fish in the sea
That’s great, but we aren’t fish. Arguably sailfish, but we are human for the most part. We know there are a lot of awesome dudes out there, but we want quality over quantity. We aren’t that shallow.
12. You know what your issue is…
And the list goes on. Maybe we do have some knots and kinks to work out in our life, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we have issues. We don’t want to hear what we shouldn’t be doing; we want to know what we should be doing.